[week one] check.
we have a beautiful baby girl that was born on april 8, 2015 at 6:52 am. she was a healthy 7.4 lbs, and every bit as perfect as we prayed for. all things considered, i had a quick and uneventful labor, and a quick and uneventful recovery as well. after leaving the hospital, that’s when it felt like life began.
our first week has been a whirlwind. i was pregnant, and then 20 minutes later i wasn’t. we were a family of 2, and now we are a family of 3. there have been many moments of great joy, and then moments of sadness, and the transition of having a child is so much greater than i anticipated, but yet so much more natural than i ever would have thought.
people tell you after you have a baby that it is very normal to feel depressed, sad, discouraged, and really just downright crazy. you are in physical pain, hormones are raging, you are sleep deprived, and you have this little bundle that needs you constantly. i’m not going to lie, those things are very real. those things aren’t easy, and there have been many moments that i have felt completely out of control. times that i wished things were different. but when i look down at my baby girl, i am reminded of how good things are, even if they aren’t easy.
i am looking to see the good in all the hard things, and i am trying to remember that this stage is so short lived. when shiloh and i are up at night, both crying while we try to breastfeed [let me tell you, not as easy as moms make it seem!], i remind myself that this is the first thing that her and i get to work on together. when shiloh won’t sleep anywhere but on us, i remind myself that i only have so much time when she will want to be held and cuddled, and if i spend that time wondering when she will let me put her down, and wishing for things to be different, i will miss those sweet moments all together. when i look around at the house and see things out of place, and would rather clean than sit on the couch and stare at my baby girl, i remind myself how much she is already changing everyday. her sweet newborn smell, precious newborn breath, curled up little body, and soft baby hair won’t be like that forever. i don’t want to miss it. and when i feel like all i do all day is feed her, change diapers, and do laundry, i remind myself that i have been entrusted with this little babe’s life. i am so thankful to be her mother, and i want more than anything to be the one to take care of her, no matter what the circumstances may bring.
it is a huge switch when things go from 2 to 3. it’s not just about us as a couple anymore, and that can be hard to wrap your head around. goodman is the best father this little girl could have gotten. the way he cherishes her and loves her encourages me daily to love her and him better. i have to admit that there have been times that i have been jealous of the little one and the attention she draws from her daddy, but i very quickly realized the silliness and selfishness in that and know that there is enough of his love to go around. there are times that we are sitting on the couch, and we can’t snuggle because one of us has the baby, and i begin to mourn those times when it was so easy to spend quality time together. but then when i get to wake up with my wonderful husband and precious child next to me in bed, i realize how some of our quality time will look different now, but how beautiful it has become.
our world has changed completely. but completely for the better. thank you shiloh faye george for teaching us more in this week than we have learned in a lifetime. we love you sweet girl!