As much as I love him, Goodman isn’t always the best with words. He has really good intentions, but doesn’t always know how to portray his thoughts and feelings. One of my favorite examples of this is while we were dating, one day we were riding in the car and he turns to me and says. “I’m so glad I’m not dating a really pretty girl.” Yes, you read it correctly. Now, I’m know I’m not a beauty queen, but I definitely had hoped that at least my boyfriend thought I was beautiful. As soon as he said it, his face turned white and he stumbled over a few “that’s not what I meant” and “I can explain”.
Now, what he had meant to say was that he was glad he wasn’t dating someone that did a lot to try to look beautiful. I didn’t curl my hair really big, wear a lot of make up, tan, etc. and he liked that I am very natural. In his mind he was giving me a compliment. And in reality, I am so grateful that he thought that way. He was telling me he was glad he wasn’t dating a girl that tried too hard, and there was so much less pressure because of that. However, the way it came out was completely opposite than intended.
These are the kinds of stories that are really good to go back and think about from time to time. I feel like they are a good reminder not to jump to conclusions. It’s so easy when you are in a relationship (friendship, or romantic) to jump to conclusions before really understanding what the person is communicating. The best advice I ever got on this subject was from my sister. She told me that when we hear something that doesn’t quite sound right, we should stop, think about that person and their heart, and then decide if we think they really meant what they said. Did they really mean to say something hurtful, or did it just come out the wrong way? 99% of the time, when I actually think before acting, I realize that Goodman would never mean to hurt me in the way that I think he just has, I just took his words differently than he intended. Now, if he did mean the words the actual way he said them, then I would have reason to be mad 😉
I’d say we could all pause a little bit more in life. If we take a moment before reacting to every little thing, I think we will save ourselves a lot of unnecessary frustration and hurt.
*He must think i’m kind of pretty since he married me and all.