Social media has it’s ups and downs. It’s beautiful side and ugly side. I love being able to reveal different parts of our lives, and share the everyday little moments that happen throughout the day. I love being able to feel connected to other people that are going through the same things. Whether it’s studying for a test, dealing with mundane housework, or struggling with depression. There is someone else out there dealing with the same thing, and honestly social media has made it easy to connect. However, on the flip side of that, it is also very easy to look at other people and think that we are the only ones struggling. To look at those little squares, or a blog post, and think that everything falls into place perfectly for everyone besides us.
When I first started my blog, I was searching for my purpose. Trying to find my purpose in the days. The long, mundane days. Then I found out I was pregnant, and after writing a post about processing through that surprise, I had a surprising amount of positive response to my post. A lot of people reached out to me sharing that they could totally relate, and sharing how good it was for them to see other people going through the same thing.
That was why I continued on with my blog. I wanted to create a space where I shared parts of our lives in hopes of helping people in one way or another. Whether it is to share a recipe we love, a quick cleaning tip, or to make people feel not alone in their mess.. I wanted to make a space to connect.
I really want to keep this a very real and raw space. I have shared about different struggles I have faced and had to work through over the past couple years, but I am also aware that most of my posts are positive for the most part. Show the parts of our lives that I see as beautiful and lovely. Things that I figure other people could find some joy in. Because of this though, I don’t want people to ever look at us and think that we only want others to see the good. I want to be open. I want to live an unedited life.
Which leads me to this. Here are a lot of things that I don’t usually talk about, that are very real and big parts of our lives, whether we like it or not.
- We always have food on the floor and dishes in the sink
- We fight, just like any other couple, over the same things over and over.
- He can be unintentional and oblivious
- I can be very needy, emotional, and dramatic
- My daughter whines and is very strong willed. She cries EVERYTIME we change her diaper.
- I am not known for being patient and gentle
- I try really hard to be healthy, but I don’t always succeed. We had pizza twice for dinner this weekend, and I had cake for breakfast yesterday…
- We watch TV when we should be reading
- We don’t spend near as much time with our friends or family
- A lot of times I would rather be home alone, than have to put myself out there and make an effort. Yet then I am lonely, it’s a vicious cycle.
- I dream big, but it can lead to envy
- I tend to have unrealistic expectations ALL the time
- He falls asleep while I’m talking to him
- I struggle with feeling like people’s second choice (and I don’t really have valid reasoning)
- I never deep clean our house. Like ever.
- I’ve given us aspartame
- We don’t play outside as much as Faye would like because I get too hot
- We don’t have a lot of extra money to spend. With only one income, we have been blessed and always taken care of, but things aren’t just a drop in the bucket. Every trip we have gone on has been carefully planned for, or someone sweet has gifted it to us.
- I don’t handle stress well. A stressful day usually ends in us ordering pizza, me going to Target alone, and Goodman picking up all the slack.
- Sometimes I feel like every area of my life is falling apart (refer back to #4, hence me being dramatic)
I share all of this because we are just like every family. I share a lot of the good and happy on my instagram and blog, but that is because there is a lot of good and happy. Everything I have said on there is 100% true and valid. I love my family and I seriously feel so lucky. However, we are REALLY messy. We wish for things and regret things. We are constantly trying to be better, but we constantly let people down and fail ourselves. There are so many things that I wish I could do differently, but all we can do is move forward, and try to create space for growth. So, I want to encourage you all to use this space as a safe place. A place where we can share the nitty gritty, gross bits of our lives. I want to be real, raw, and honest.
I want to live unedited.